A Light in the Dark

I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. No one on this earth actually cares about me. Some pretend, sure, but no one really cares. No one would notice if I just suddenly disappeared from their lives. No one would notice the absence of my presence. So why am I still here? I’ve asked myself this question so many times, but I still can’t find an answer. I just am. I just am.

The terrors of my past haunt me. They won’t leave me alone. I hate the night because that’s when they enter into my weakest moments; in my dreams. Day is feared. Day brings back the memories of what’s been done. Haunted in daylight; haunted in darkness.

I prefer the darkness. In the darkness I can hide. The terrors and secrets of my past are hidden in the darkness. It is there no one can find me. It I there no one will look. Everyone seems to be afraid of the darkness. They are afraid of what it hides. It comforts me. The darkness is my friend.

Ghostly figures float before my eyes, illuminating me in the darkness. A man, a woman, a young boy, a young girl. All dead. They know me. They call me by name. But they do not care about me. They haunt me. They will continue to haunt me. They will remind me of what’s been done until the day I die.

Suddenly I am alone. Standing suspended in a pure white light. I am not standing on anything, but I do not fall. The light pierces my body and I cry out in pain. I feel so exposed in the light. The comfort of the darkness is gone. Instead I feel myself slowing breaking apart from the inside out.

Then the pain leaves. As suddenly as it began, the pain leaves me, but the light does not fade. In anything, the light brightens. I hear a voice calling out from the light, comforting me. It drives away all of my fears. It drives away those who were haunting me.

A great host of angels appeared before me, singing praises to a God I had never known. Without knowing why I joined with them, and sang with all I had. Tears flowed like rivers down my cheeks and I awoke with a start. Feeling a strange sense of peace I sit up and stare in surprise. Angels fill my room, shining brightly, smiling down at me. I blink in disbelief and the angels disappear, but the inner peace from the angels lingers on.

Picking up paper and a pen from my bedside table I start writing. Thank you God, I pray. This is the most beautiful vision I have seen.

The Promise

It took a long time to climb the mountain. But we did it. The view from the top was amazing, and made the fatigue my limbs felt from the climb up disappear. Beside me, my father stood, invisible to all but me. He was the only one who knew I was here on the mountaintop. As I stared at the horizon a light mist began to fall from the sky, but I stayed dry. Here I was, above the treetops, above the mist, and I felt so peaceful. The scene before me was so calm and tranquil. A tear escaped my eye as I thought of the day I decided to climb the mountain. I was just nine years old.

“Daddy, one day will you take me up Mount Summer?” I asked, pointing to the mountain, the highest point hidden by clouds.

“Sure. The day you’re old enough to climb Mount Summer I’ll be there by your side,” he said. “I promise.”

I had been so young. He died two years later in a mountain climbing expedition.

This put me off climbing for so long, but the dream of scaling Mount Summer was always in the back of my mind. I knew that I wouldn’t feel I’d accomplished anything until I reached the top.

I was twelve when I started climbing again. When I was on my own I found myself talking to my father. As time went by, I began doing it more and more often, and I began to think he was really there. Mum thought I was still suffering from grief, but I knew this was just my way of coping.

I trained specifically for my climb up Mount Summer for a year. I started my training the week after I turned fourteen as my father had said I would be ready to climb the mountain at fifteen. Just after I began training I set the date for my climb. It was to be the 9^th of September – my father’s birthday.

I got up early, about five o’clock, as I normally did for my training, while everyone was still asleep. I dressed appropriately and had breakfast as quick as I could. I had packed a bag the previous night with provisions and safety gear for climbing last night, and I shouldered it before walking out the house.

I caught a bus as far across town as I could get, and then walked the final k to the base of Mount Summer. I knew I was disobeying the first rule when it came to climbing, but I had to do this alone. I didn’t even want to tell anyone that I was going.

The climb was the hardest I had ever attempted, and at half way up I was beginning to question my readiness. But after I had rested for a while, I felt ready to go again. The time where I passed through the cloud was probably the worst I had experienced. In the climbing team I was in we had been told about what it was like to climb through the cloud, and had even had a quick simulation-like thing. But that didn’t really prepare me for what it was really like. It was like walking through thick wet fog, except I was climbing, and the low visibility wasn’t very good. I panicked once as I slipped and almost fell, but my father caught me. I felt as though I wanted to give up, but I endured. I had to.

A little further ahead of me was my father. He was a lot more experienced than me, so he was faster, but he waited for me so we could step out onto the peak together.

I turned to my father, a wide smile on his face. “We did it,” I said. “We climbed to the top of Mount Summer.”

“We certainly did. I’m very proud of you,” he replied.

“You kept your promise,” I added. “The one you made to me when I was nine.”

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you, ever. You’re my daughter, and I love you,” he replied.

“I love you too, dad.”

As he hugged me I felt his presence disappear, and he vanished from view. Strangely, I didn’t feel alone. I could still feel him with me, even though I couldn’t see him anymore. As I looked at the beautiful surroundings, I felt a great sense of accomplishment.

I decided, with little hesitation, that I was never coming down from the mountain.

GIRL DIES IN CLIMBING ACCIDENT

On September 9^th local girl Jennifer Adams, 15, attempted to climb Mount Summer, but slipped and fell before she was even half way up. She hadn’t told anyone that she was going, and her mother was distressed when police rang her with the terrible news.

“Jennifer has always been into climbing. I’m devastated that she’s gone, but at least she left us doing something she loved,” her mother commented in between tears. “She’ll definitely be missed.”