Why is it that we are so self-centered when we want something? So self centered to the point where you don't realise what those close to you are feeling or even care what they think. How do we manage to push their opinions and their feelings out of mind? How does something become more important than those we love?
I have been so intent on wanting to be married. I thought that because we had discussed it, that it was all out in the open, that it was all ok...except for the conditions he had imposed. So now that I have reached the age condition what now? I had been so focused on wanting to be married that forgot to find out exactly how HE felt about it. And so we had that awkward discussion.
We can often think irrationally when we are so intently focused on something we want. And that is what I did. I know that I want this - to be married. But I had forgotten to think of all the practical things, things that HE was thinking of. And when we discuss it the mature and practical thoughts he has terrify me, they make it seem so real...but isn't that what I want?
To be honest, the idea of being married, especially at my age, both terrifies and excites me. It excites me for the sole reason of marrying the love of my life and committing myself to him. But it also terrifies me because I wonder if I am ready. I am only 20, and although I have become independent of sorts by living out of home, I wonder if I am really ready to step out and start a new family.
We are often told to grow up, and I thought that had come with time, but when do we really know we have? How do we tell?
i don't know how to tell when we are ready for things in our lives.. that's a continual frustration because the only one who knows for sure is God.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how old i will be when/if i get married but all i know is that i want to be in relationship for at least 2-3years before i decide to get married. obviously i have nothing to worry about atm. Although sometimes time and our age can make us think quite a bit.