Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ramblings

I have a lot of random thoughts. I generally get them while listening to something that grabs my attention and pulls it in another direction. (If that made sense I think we have issues...) But I was listening to a news report about war in Afghanistan and, as only my mind would, wondered, 'would I be able to kill someone?'

What is your first, knee jerk response? Yes? In self defence? That was my first thought too. But then I thought about it more...

OK, I have quite a vivid, perhaps twisted imagination when it comes to my writing, and I have put my main character into a self-defence position on multiple occasions. Yes, she's killed, and (one of my characters) then went on to become a serial killer, trying her very best to protect the identity she has changed so many times she cannot remember. But I don't think I could do it. The emotion that my character expresses and the pure hatred that she feels is something completely foreign to me. I have never felt that afraid or hated someone so much I wanted them dead.

But then I begin to wonder...how can I write these things if I have never felt them? But that is a whole other story.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Rebellion

This is something I wrote quickly at work today...

At what age do we stop rebelling? I know it is very normal for teenagers to go through a phase of rebellion, testing out the waters and seeing how far they can push the boundaries with their parents. I know it drives them crazy, and I guess that's more of an incentive to do it, right? But what if you aren't living at home with your parents, do you lose the motivation for rebelling? What rules are there that you are breaking? None, right?

So what comes next? Breaking general moral rules set for society...even laws. Excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, sex and rock and roll, aren't these the very things our parents were trying to keep us away from? But without them around, we are freer to access these things, flaunt them and not worry about the consequences of them coming home and finding you severely hungover.

We are taught throughout our teenage years about responsible alcohol consumption and about saying no to drugs. So what makes us drink to excess and say yes to what we know is poisoning our body? It's all about rebellion. Peer pressure to be in the "cool" crowd, to be a rebel. To defy authority and flaunt our disrespect.

Ask yourself this question: if you were offered to try some drugs, would you?

Why?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Writer's Block

I have been wanting for some time now, to be able to write something. Not a blog, but a story. I haven't really been able to write anything since I finished college and started working, and it's upsetting for me, as it was quite a big part of who I am. Even though I rarely ever finish a story, I'm struggling to even write any short prose. I'm enveying Gretel who has written a few good poems lately.

This weekend for me has felt lonely. Friday night I didn't go home with Jesse and stayed in the city because Gretel and Rosie were supposed to be home...but with Gretel sick they spent the night in Elizabeth. Then Saturday arvo/night we went bowling and had dinner with a few friends, but people pulled out at the last minute and it was kinda upsetting but I suppose they had their reasons. I didn't end up going clubbing as I was tired and only Luke was free to go with and I just didn't have the energy. (And Jesse had already left, and he was the only one I really wanted to spend time with) Sunday, Rosie had left before I got up, and I didn't have any real human contact until I got to Rage tonight. It was good to catch up with Gretel, and I'm glad she's feeling better today. But tonight I am on my own again...Rosie is staying in Lobey again as it's convenient for work tomorrow, which is fair enough.

The thing that surprises me though, is that, although I know full well my alarm is going to go off at 6.45am I am still awake. My mind doesn't want to shut itself down, and I am forcing myself to write all this down so I can get it out and perhaps tire myself into sleep.

Goodnight.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thoughts evade me

I've been struggling to write another blog entry for a while now. I think about it and I wonder how it must feel for TV show writers...and the one that comes to mind is Scrubs. I feel like a blog is like JD's last thoughts at the end of the show, bringing up what happened, what he's learned and wrapping it all up...and this time, for good.

I don't actually know what to write about. For some reason thoughts just aren't happening, especially something thought provoking that I can actually write about. ... I had an interesting debate with Jesse, Gretel and Jim via email on Wednesday about the new labour budget. It was very interesting. I do tend to agree with Jesse, though...we are both liberal supporters and Gretel is not. If anyone wishes to view the debate (if anyone actually reads this) I have it all printed out.

If anyone has a topic for me to write about or hear my opinion of suggestions are welcome. I think I need a bit of direction.