A Light in the Dark

I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. No one on this earth actually cares about me. Some pretend, sure, but no one really cares. No one would notice if I just suddenly disappeared from their lives. No one would notice the absence of my presence. So why am I still here? I’ve asked myself this question so many times, but I still can’t find an answer. I just am. I just am.

The terrors of my past haunt me. They won’t leave me alone. I hate the night because that’s when they enter into my weakest moments; in my dreams. Day is feared. Day brings back the memories of what’s been done. Haunted in daylight; haunted in darkness.

I prefer the darkness. In the darkness I can hide. The terrors and secrets of my past are hidden in the darkness. It is there no one can find me. It I there no one will look. Everyone seems to be afraid of the darkness. They are afraid of what it hides. It comforts me. The darkness is my friend.

Ghostly figures float before my eyes, illuminating me in the darkness. A man, a woman, a young boy, a young girl. All dead. They know me. They call me by name. But they do not care about me. They haunt me. They will continue to haunt me. They will remind me of what’s been done until the day I die.

Suddenly I am alone. Standing suspended in a pure white light. I am not standing on anything, but I do not fall. The light pierces my body and I cry out in pain. I feel so exposed in the light. The comfort of the darkness is gone. Instead I feel myself slowing breaking apart from the inside out.

Then the pain leaves. As suddenly as it began, the pain leaves me, but the light does not fade. In anything, the light brightens. I hear a voice calling out from the light, comforting me. It drives away all of my fears. It drives away those who were haunting me.

A great host of angels appeared before me, singing praises to a God I had never known. Without knowing why I joined with them, and sang with all I had. Tears flowed like rivers down my cheeks and I awoke with a start. Feeling a strange sense of peace I sit up and stare in surprise. Angels fill my room, shining brightly, smiling down at me. I blink in disbelief and the angels disappear, but the inner peace from the angels lingers on.

Picking up paper and a pen from my bedside table I start writing. Thank you God, I pray. This is the most beautiful vision I have seen.