It feels like Thursday, but it's only Tuesday

Well, after so many late nights they have finally taken their toll. I think I'm getting sick. I had a runny nose this morning, and I'm constantly tired. I don't notice it all the time as when I get busy at work I get my second, third...whatever wind but when it all slows back down it hits me and it's like my brain switches itself off.

I found this quote which I think is kinda relevant: "I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed."

I don't really have much else to post tonight, except the first verse to this song by Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

It's good to know that people have actually read this - it's doesn't make me feel like such a loser just posting my thoughts. Good night!

Blah

Well, it is once again that time of night - time to procrastinate sleep and write my blog. I am absolutely exhausted. The last 2 nights (Friday & Saturday) I have gone to bed at 2am and have been struggling to keep my eyes open both times. Why am I doing this to myself?

There have been a couple times lately where I've felt so out of place, but I don't know if anyone noticed. I don't think so, as I passed it off as being something else - too hot, too tired, both are valid excuses.

I woke up this morning with a slight headache and feeling a little ill - it was like a slight hangover, but I haven't had any alcohol in a few weeks. But I got the sweetest message from Jesse that was so simple but made me feel so special. From then on though, I don't know if it was the fact I wasn't really doing anything or something else, but I just felt so blah. I felt ill during the Rage service (which went well!) and I reckon it's all coming back to fatigue.

So I suppose that means I should probably switch off my computer and go to sleep. But I know that as soon as I sign off of here I will not do that. I haven't quite mastered that self control yet.

Just a few thoughts

It's late, I'm exhausted and for some reason I still feel like posting a blog. It's hot and I'm putting off going to bed, even though it's most likely hotter here in the office than in the bedroom.

Today started out OK and then for some relatively unknown reason my mood completely flipped and I just felt so unmotivated. The last hour at work was very busy and I didn't really have too much more time to think. Since then I've been outside and the heat has kinda melted my mind and it's turned itself off and I haven't been thinking.

Jesse ended up staying over last night, and it was really good just to spend time with him. We watched an episode of Burn Notice and I was looking up prices and plans for Blackberry Bolds. I'm considering getting one, but it's only free on the $99/month cap, otherwise it's $999 outright.

I am just wondering if anyone reads this blog...it is good to get stuff out but I'm also looking for a bit of feedback. I've set it so anyone can comment, you don't have to have a Blogger account.

Anyway, I should probably go to sleep. It's well past my bedtime and I'm up late again tomorrow night.

Out of ideas for a catchy title...

Not much to really write about tonight. I talked to Gretel about the tests that the Drs are going to do to Jesse on Monday. She explained everything so I understood what they are going to do and feel a bit better about it now. But I am still annoyed that he hasn't been online all day so I haven't been able to talk to him at all. But he said he would drop past on his way home from work tomorrow night so that will be good.

Work was tough...physically. I know it sounds strange for someone who works in an office but me and Lynn rearranged the lunch room...well, Lynn helped me move the desk & table and I set up the TV and moved all the boxes of paper. It was hard work, especially in heels!

Anyway, I did have something else to write but I was distracted by episode 8 of Scrubs season 8!

Good night!

Again!! I love you Jesse!

OK...so I sit down to eat my dinner and I get a message from my darling boyfriend saying he's on his way to hospital because he's choking...again! Not as serious as last time - no blood, so I'm assuming no serious damage to his osophegus. But he's now on a clear fluid diet tomorrow and coloured fluids a day or two after before progressing to soft foods. This happened previously, almost 3 years ago when I was in year 12 when he actually made a gash on his osophegus and he is getting tests tomorrow to see if there is scar tissue or something else slightly blocking the path of his food down to his stomach as he has noticed changes in his gag reflex since that incident.

Anyway. what to think about this. First of all, I am glad to know instead of only finding out 2 hours later that he was even taken to hospital, and that time was far more serious! But I really don't know what to feel. I know he is going to be OK - he's not going to die. there is no threat of that. I am worried about the weight he is going to lose being on the liquid diet, it was quite dramatic last time but at least this time he has slightly more weight on him - but he has to be careful not to become underweight.

I guess perhaps for now I should try and get some sleep. It is a bit after midnight and I need to be at work at 8.30. But I should mention now that the Perth office got their internet back up and running today! Hooray!

Stumped

Well, it's been just under a week and I've already run out of things to write about. Work is still busy because Perth doesn't have the internet back up and running yet. Weather is still hot though cooler at night now which is a relief. I'm waiting for tafe to send me my information pack with my lesson stuff and timetable so there's really not a lot happening in my life at the moment.

Perhaps, if there is actually anyone who reads this, you would like to post a question or put something to me that you would like me to write about. Is there anything you would like to know about me or have my opinion on?

Anyway, I guess this is all I can really write tonight. Wow, what a boring post.

Happy 21st Birthday Luke!!

Well, it has been a couple days since I wrote my last blog. I meant to but it's been quite hot and I've been busy and tired after a long week.

I have a couple things to whine about - and that is all the speed limit changes between Strath and Victor Habour! It's insane...apparently we're not allowed to go fast. And slow drivers! I got stuck behind so many people doing 10-20km's under the speed limit. And I did more km's yesterday than I would do in an average week...

But apart from that there's been a few other things on my mind that I've been ignoring. The main one Jesse confronted me on this morning. I haven't had a chance to speak with him about it since. I didn't realloy want to go into detail about it on the phone as there was someone else in the room with me, but I know I am frustrating him. I know my mind doesn't make sense and what I do doesn't make sense. To clarify a little, I said I would go to church this morning but then I changed my mind and messaged Jesse saying "can you please burn me a copy of the service" and he rang me straight back saying "why aren't you coming?" Of course I didn't have a good excuse, but to be honest I just didn't feel like it. I wanted a copy of the service to listen/watch it in my own time. I know I was being lame, but it's not something I want to deal with at the moment.

Anyway, I'm going to leave my blog here for tonight. I haven't really given you much to think about, so I'll give you this that Joel heard.

You can trust everyone. Just not the devil inside of them.