On my own again...

Well, I have been putting off this post for a few days now, but I suppose I should stop procrastinating. I am now snuggled up in bed with a heat pack and my laptop.

It turns out that our office assistant wasn't quite right for the job, so as of Thursday afternoon I am on my own again in the junior/reception/assistant position. Whoopie. And the hardest thing is now that it is BAS time (trust me, this is once a quarter and it is huge) and I have all the admin work to oversee as well as the BAS. I am glad that I have a competant co-worker in the BAS department. My boss went into hospital on Thursday and most likely won't be back in the office until this Thursday.

But that is work, and yes, it will be stressful for the next few weeks/months/however long it takes to find and train someone else, I will manage. I have a good team to work with, but this position seems to be cursed (and it's not just since I've been there).

On Friday night Jesse and I had a lovely dinner with Nathan and Jade at their house and it was just a nice ending to a not-so-nice week. It was good to hang out and chat catch up and be with another couple who aren't all couple-y (if you know what I mean). And perhaps it will encourage Jesse to take the next step...I think I'm dreaming here

Saturday was a wonderful picnic/bbq/hang out organised by Robin, and it was just such a beautiful day. The food was good, the company was good, the weather was perfect, and the only thing that wasn't good was when Jesse injured Gretel. Even being tackled to the ground by Jesse during a water fight was lots of fun!

I think the only thing I need to consider next time is just how much exercise hurts later that day/the next day. Gretel and I (as she couldn't run due to injury) decided to climb on the play equipment instead of play ultimate frisbee. My arms and upper body muscles are quite sore now, hence the heat pack mentioned earlier.

I did make one big step with Jesse this weekend. On the way back from Nathan and Jade's house I said that he needed to stop spending so much money so he could save for an engagement ring. It's all to do with his credit card. I explained that the only reason he got it in the first place was for purchases where he couldn't transfer the money from his cash management fund fast enough, and yet he has been using it in place of actually having the money, which is the credit card trap. So now the card is in my possession for emergencies only.

Well, I must stop my ramblings so I can get to sleep so I am all refreshed for work in the morning.

What happens at parties

I went to a housewarming party last night for a couple friends of mine and there were a few things that arose that - for lack of a better word - concerned me.

I met a couple friends who went to school with the hostess, Caitlen and Daria. Daria was a quiet girl, a little shy and thrown into an unfamiliar situation. She reminded me of me. In order to get her to 'open up' her friend Caitlen, encouraged by several around her, decided to get her drunk. And so after the equivelant of 5 shots in 5-10 minutes (after a glass of wine previously) that's where she drew the line.

One of the culprits in the encouraging department was my lovely boyfriend Jessse. He decided to go 1 for 1 with her in the shots (skittle bombs, actually quite nice). As he was originally designated driver he handed the keys to Collie and started pouring.

After about 10 minutes you could tell Daria's head was clearly spinning. And her friend Caitlen decided it was time to experience her first drunken kiss. I feel sorry that it was actually her first kiss.

About 10 minutes after this I decided Daria had had enough and took her inside, sat her down and got her some water. Caitlen had disappeared at this point but I felt partly responsible as it was my boyfriend doing to the encouraging, and there wasn't a lot I could do to stop him. Anyway, shortly after that she felt very sick and I took her to the bathroom. Caitlen took over after that.

What really got me about this night, as she was not the only person in this situation. I was slightly disturbed with the behaviour of a couple other party-goers, and so I may have left a little early (though, admitadly I was quite tired in the end). But I believe Caitlen's behaviour was unacceptable as a friend - she is supposed to be there and look after her friend, not get them drunk and encourage them to hook up with some random guy. I feel this way because I am a 'Daria', the 'goody-two-shoes' back in high school - probably still now! And now Daria has gone home, feeling sick, and most likely regretting the whole night.

The most frustrating thing was that Jesse has hauled me up on the issue of drinking and he goes and does the same thing. He didn't hang around with some people at this party in high school becuase of the piss-ups, he didn't want to be a part of that.


Sorry for all the blog posts close together, just had thoughts that I felt should be shared. Now I am going to forget all the frustration and start getting ready for my cousin's wedding. I hope the weather will hold out and it will be a perfect day for all.

To be rescued

This topic has come up in a couple different blogs lately that I follow and it made me think.

One blog said: "I am not the princess who sits alone in her tower, waiting for someone to rescue her. But I'd like a knight to come along, lend me a dagger, teach me to fight and then guard my back as we slay our dragons. But first he's gotta sneak past the guards."

I thought this was a brilliant way of putting it, and I think this is the most true in my life.

I think I am a romantic. I was 'rescued' when Jesse came into my life and started treating me like his princess. But we haven't been without our shares of dragons and tall towers to conquer. He has come in as the brave knight and has assisted in freeing me from the tall tower and past the dragon to the safety of his embrace. awwwwwwww =P

To be rescued is something I believe I was made for. I'm not saying it's right for everyone, but for me it just felt right.

Gah, emotions!

Well, I had nothing to write about until an hour ago. I just saw a dog get hit by a car. Well, I didn't see that actual hitting part. I heard a loud bang, turned and saw a puppy rolling along, then lying very stiff upsidedown in the middle of Unley Road, and a small pool of blood forming by the head.

I felt a little sick as I drove back home, but forced myself to eat tea as I had kinda forced Jesse to come and meet me to buy me tea.

Wait, maybe I did have something to write about before then, it had just slipped my mind.

Fuck today. I am glad it is Friday and I am glad it is over.

This is the message I sent to Jesse after a long day at work. Not terribly difficult, just mentally and emotionally exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I finished a half hour later than usual as I wanted to tie up some loose ends and organise things for Monday before I left and I just didn't have time during the day.

[paragraph deleted due to thoughts about internal work matters]

My head is just in a mess at the moment. And I am supposed to be having a wonderful weekend. I have my cousin Jordan and his fiance Amy's wedding to look forward to on Sunday. And a housewarming on Saturday night.

I just don't know what to do! And now my eyes are red and I have a runny nose.

He is Risen ?

It is the end of a wonderful and relaxing long weekend - a whole 4 days off work to relax and recouperate! But also a very important time in the Christian calendar. Sadly, I'm not sure it had any impact on me. I've heard the story before, and I know it well. I hear the story again each year and yet the last two years I don't think it's meant anything to me. I go to church because I know Jesse wants me to, and because I'm rostered to play.

I was thinking about my costume for my 21st today. And I found the hottest little red dress in one of the stores on King William Road, only $55. If I cannot find a proper costume, I will be buying that little red dress, and I am considering it anyway, to wear out to town. I would have to wear black tights underneath for me to find it acceptable though, it was that short! Otherwise I will take some time to go to a costume shop and pick one out. Or else I've found a cool one on eBay.

I've been thinking about vampires lately (surprise surprise with what I've been reading) and I wondered, what would it be like to live for hundreds of years? What would it be like to live through history and see the world change, not just hear about it?

My thoughts are a bit all over the place at the moment, as I'm sure you can tell.

Goodnight.

Thinking thoughts

Well, I had no real motivation to write today. But I kept myself busy, and actually out of the house for a few hours. Bought a few books online and at the bookstore, so I will have something more to read. I'm really getting more into fantasy books. I'm quite liking the whole Vampire thing. Not Twilight, obviously (I'm glad to see that there was no mention of the series AT ALL on the Wikipedia entry) but the True Blood (Sookie Stackhouse) series. I've just ordered the other series written by the same author.

What I have been thinking about lately and has been bugging me is work. At least I think so. There have been pangs of different feelings. Whenever I look through photos of friends on Facebook and they are wedding photos I just can't help but feel so very jealous. And at work...well, there always seems to be this dilemma about the reception position. And because it is the only positiong below me, who fills the spot when it is empty...? Me! Strange thing is, this time I'm not sure quite early on that we've made the right decision.

Julie is our office assistant and my boss has been sceptical that we made the right choice - but there were 4 of us that agreed from her trial that she would be right for the job. But she has been with us now for just over a month (gosh, that's gone quickly!) and I'm having second thoughts.

1 - There are little things about her that annoy me. I know this seems silly, but with everyone else in the office I haven't had any gripes with at all. It's just something that makes me question her maturity. Julie is in her 50's and she still says things like 'drinkies' and other baby-type words that are not professional and just don't sound mature. But this may just be my pet peeve.

2 - I'm not sure if she will be able to grasp our work. I know it isn't exactly the easiest industry to understand, with all the specialised software and language, but I'm having my doubts. There have been a couple things where it appears she wasn't listening or using her common sense that just make us wonder 'why would you do that?'.

3 - My boss is rarely wrong when it comes to his instinct.

My boss has said on a couple of ocassions that I need to let him know if he doesn't think she's suitable, but I hate the feeling of knowing that I could get someone to lose their job.

I just don't know any more.

Yay for writing

Here is what I was able to write this afternoon on my story. I know it doesn't end well but I just don't know what Natalya is feeling to be able to answer Dhampir's question. Enjoy.

--

When I came too I squinted, my eyes assaulted by the bright light. The air around me was cool, but not cold, I could feel the warmth of sunlight on my face, but it didn’t feel like the sunlight I was used to. There was the feel of something I couldn’t quite place in the air, like a sort of electricity or static. It didn’t feel dangerous, just different, and mysterious, but in a good way.

As my eyes adjusted to the light I looked around me. I was lying in a clearing in a forest. The grass was a bright, unnatural shade of green, and it was so very soft. I couldn’t place the type of trees surrounding the clearing, and they, too, seemed unnaturally bright and colourful, as if in a painting. A slight breeze swept through the clearing, rustling the bright green leaves on the trees, bringing with it the scent of something wonderful and sweet.

Where was I? And how did I get here?

My thoughts trailed back to what had happened before I blacked out. There was a voice, a cool, mesmerising voice who had spoken to me. What had they said? One word floated to the top of my mind.

Soren.

Soren needed me. But who was Soren? And why did he or she need me?

Despite my unfamiliar surroundings and the bizarre circumstances I felt strangely calm. I got slowly to my feet and scanned the boundary of the clearing, searching for any clues as to where I was and how I got here. I heard a rustling sound behind me and I spun on the spot. From out behind one of the trees came the most handsome man I had seen.

“Natalya,” he said, his voice capturing my full attention. “I am glad you are awake. My name is Dhampir. How are you feeling?”